Saturday, May 27, 2006

Horn Dog vs Slut

Saturday was one of those few days that domestic duties and squabbles interfered with sex. See they happen even to us. It was a busy day with hockey, cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping, post office, bank, getting a birthday present for a party for little man went to today. So since there isn't a lot to 'report' on, I thought I would use today for a post that has been rambling around my brain for awhile now...and since I got an e-mail asking about my past, I thought the timing was good.

long post, sorry...

First some definitions (my own...the 'good sex' one I wrote years ago when I told G I need good sex...and he asked what was my definition of good sex, but I thought it worked well here):

horn dog, n. A person that has a pathological need for sex, especially good sex (see below). A normally fairly moraled person, lack of said good sex can lead to immoral behavior, namely adultry or cheating. If a horn dog can not find a like minded partner they can run the risk of becoming a slut.

slut, n. A person with loose morals, who will engage in sex acts with just about anyone. Usually manifests into multiple one night stands. A slut, may or may not be a horn dog. EG; A horn dog can become a slut out of a need for sex, but a slut does not always enjoy sex.

good sex, n. Mind numbing, muscle twitching, smoldering, shuddering, multiple orgasm producing fucking. Desired results can be achieved with varied techniques, not limit to, but may include: licking, sucking and pinching of the breasts; long, hard sucking of the penis; deep, rapid thrusting of a hard cock into a wet pussy. Other controversial, but effective techniques may include: bondage, spanking, role playing, anal stimulation or even anal sex. Proper attire, sexual toys and devices, a good lubricant, as well as good mental lubricant (wine works well) are helpful. Done correctly, results can be highly addictive.

Now at the risk of sounding arrogant, I beleive I am what most men are looking for in a mate, a horn dog. I love sex, lots of it and am highly open to experimentation...but in a stable (usually exclusive, monogomist) relationship. I have at times, in my past engaged in slutty behavior...you know: young, dumb and full of cum. So maybe I am fooling myself, but considering my age and the short duration of said behavior, I choose to defend my horn dog, but not slut status. I can say, even in my slut like behavior I have never had a one night stand.

Now the question of the day. Is a horn dog born or made?
I have been contemplating this for years, ever since I first read that 2003 Durex study. Having been a horn dog my whole life it never really occured to me that I was, at least as far as women go, an aberration rather than the norm.

80/20 rule
If you have ever been to any sales, management, time mangement, motivational class you will see the 80/20 rule applied to various theories. I think it can be applied to the horn dog status. 80% of men are horn dogs. So while most men are, indeed horn dogs...there are those 20% who do have a low libido. In reverse, only 20% of women are horn dogs.

This 80/20 rule, does have a flaw that compounds the problem for long term relationships and marriages. Women will often become a horn dog, for short periods during early courtship. Men are often excited and amazed that they have found a woman to 'keep up with them', only to be amazed later that their 'hot tamale' seems to have become frozen. Is this a natural phenomenon or machiavellian? I hate to say it, let me put an my flame resistant suit, but after seeing my girlfriends and sisters do this, I think in most women it is a ruse they use when they think they have found 'the one'. Of course there are exeptions, some women do get sick, there are times stress, or being pregnant or having infants kills anyones sex drive, but a true horn dog gets back to 'normal' fairly quickly.

What is the solution?
People around the world, but especially Americans have spent millions and millions of dollars on this lack of equilibrium. Everything from books, seminars, drugs, to even porn I think can be tied to this imbalance. If someone ever does find a solution to this, they will be the richest person in the world. The divorce rate would plummet, productivty would soar, stress levels would plummet. People would be happier, healthy and basically better people. Am I over simplifying, maybe, probably....but it amkes sense to me. There are studies apon studies out there that support those who have sex regularly have less stress, are healthier, and are happier. If you have a statisfing sex life I think you more upbeat, patient, easy going, non judgemental.

One of my favorite songs is Dancing in the Moonlight by Van Morrison. I think the whole song relates this theory.

The obvious inference is dancing in the moonlight or dance is sex.

We get it almost every night
When that moon is big and bright
Its a supernatural delight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

Everybody here is out of sight
don’t bark and they don’t bite
They keep things loose they keep things light
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight
Dancing in the moonlight

Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

We like our fun and we never fight
You can't dance and stay uptight
Its a supernatural delight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

In Conculsion
To those out there who are horn dogs, and have mates who are not, I am sorry to say, I do believe the horn dog is born and not made. I think there are somethings that may help and I often list those in my blogs...at one point I started a whole list, and I may try to revisit that soon.

Why? Why? Why?
My own personal history has lead to the numerous opinions I stated above. I intended support my conculsions withl excerpts from my own life, but I need to feed my poor neglected children.
Sorry I waxed on for so long. I will be back tonight, promise, for that history ;)

2 Comments:

Blogger marriedwithsex said...

Editorial comment from G. He thinks my 80/20 rule is way off....he says its more like 60/40. He contends there are more men out there with low libidos than I realize and conversly, there are many more female horn dogs than 20%. In fact, he says, "almost every women I have been with was a horn dog...and I have had more partners than you." I laughed, "what are you the horn dog magnet?"

So I am interested to see what my readers think? What is the correct percentage?

6:53 AM  
Blogger Geoffrey Homes said...

I'd love to think the percentages broke so cleanly, but you'll recall I was the blogger who blathered on and on about bell curves. I think G IS closer to the mark, but I'm reminded of those sex surveys that ask the question 'how often do you have sex?' and then offer, in their multiple choice options, one that says '1-2 times a week.' For clarity, one time a week is 52 times and just two times a week is 104 TIMES!!! As someone who's partner thinks 1-2 times a week means the same thing, I can tell you she thinks we're fine and I don't -- which is the difference between one and two.

2:11 PM  

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