Friday, June 16, 2006

From bitch to back to normal

Wednesday is not a pretty picture, but such is life sometimes....funny thing is no one in a my 'real' life, including G, has a clue.

Wednesday
I sleep horrible Tuesday night. I have the day off today for middleman's sixth grade graduation. With all the crap going on at work, I really shouldn't be taking the day off, I am tempted to shift my telecommute day, but don't want to risk someone trying to get me while I am at the graduation...I am feeling like scrooge, because I feel angry that I have to take another day off...but who ever heard of sixth grade graduation??? Am I out of touch, maybe...but I guarantee you, a non working parent thought of this. G takes the morning off, but goes in after the graduation. I work so far, this is not a reasonable option for me. I put on a smiling face, attend the graduation, clap like crazy at the right times and take middleman out to lunch. I am proud of him. He makes the principals list with a 3.83 grade average, which is outstanding...especially since he had algebra (at 6th grade!! I felt special taking it in 8th, lol). He receives the new presidential 'gold' award for being on the principals list all 3 trimesters, as well as a perfect attendance award and an outstanding character award (1 of only 5, out of 139 kids). After lunch we pick up little man. In honor of 'graduation' we go home and set up the tent in the back yard, where he is going to have a sleep over with some friends tonight.

The boys, under the supervision of the oldest one, start setting up the inside of the tent. I sneak in a short nap, hoping it will improve my frame of mind...no such luck, now I am groggy and grumpy. I take little man to hockey. I head home so the kids can come over. I stop and get a couple of pizzas.

I really feel like calling it a night, but G and I had planned on having some 'fun'. I consider telling G I am going to 'bail', but decide maybe some good sex might help. I take my bath, usually a relaxing ritual, tonight, it feels like a chore, I feel like bailing...and a bitch for feeling that way. I dress in a black skin tight outfit and heels G has set out, I usually love G picking out my clothes, tonight, it feels controlling.... I feel like bailing...and a bitch for feeling that way. Everything is bugging me, the light is too bright, the heels are hurting my ankles... I feel like bailing...and a bitch for feeling that way. G walks in, I feel like bailing...and a bitch for feeling that way. I keep my mouth shut and go through the motions, willing my mind to let my body take over. It is no use, I am just not in to it, but I continue to fake it....we fuck missionary, doggie and G cums all over my face, he is satisfied. I don't know if I am relieved or pissed he didn't even notice.

Since the boys are in the back yard I head downstairs to sleep on the couch, so I can keep the back window open and listen for any problems, I think to myself, it's going to be another rough night. Even though I need to listen for the boys, I decide to take 1 (instead of 2) migraine pills...when the light was bugging me during sex, I thought to myself, maybe a have a low grade migraine, maybe that it what is making me so bitchy...hopefully.

Telecommute Thursday
The boys in the back wake up pretty early, around 6. I am amazed I feel so much better. Augh, all that bitchiness for nothing...I wish I would have figured it out sooner, but I haven't had a migraine in months. Oh, well. Busy day, 'at work'. I book a lot of business, which raises my mood even more. I sneak in a cat nap at lunch time while the boys are at the park...ah it feels so good back to 'normal'.

I go out for a little shopping and dinner with my mom, who is leaving soon (yeah!...sorry, that's bad, I am just happy they're not staying with us).

When I get home G has the boys all ready for bed, we watch a little tivoed golf and go to bed early....to ready for daddy's weekend.

Friday AM
Yeah, still feeling good :) The boys are coming to work with me today, so I get to sleep in just a bit. G calls and says. "It's daddy weekend, right?" "Yes it is!" I am glad I am truly excited and enthusiastic and don't have to fake it. "So I get everything I want this weekend?" "Yep!" "All the licking, and sucking and fucking I want?" he asks excitedly, hopeful. "You bet," I giggle....he replies, "I think it should start as soon as I get home." Happy to mean it, I tell him, "Absolutely!"

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there...I hope you all get just what you want for father's day, too ;)

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